I don't know when exactly
it hit me, but it did.
A sort of slow-motion-sucker-punch-blow-to-the-gut.
Got my attention none-the-less.
Maybe it was my pregnant shadow starring back at me tonight while Maya and I enjoyed the red and orange leaves crunching under our feet with the cool breeze in our face. Maybe it was the fact that I got to hear my 17 week old babies heart galloping away again today. Or, maybe it was the text I got from my giddy-hearted husband who's "playing farmer" tonight with a good friend that stated the money he earns farming is going in our baby fund. He is such a proud Daddy already. Maybe it was the good reports baby Van Meeteren received at the 21 week ultrasound. Or maybe it was the sweet email I got from a best friend that's literally thousand of miles away yet remains so close to my heart.
Regardless of what exactly
it was,
it hit me.
You know that feeling in your life when you look around and can't help but smile because you realize you are living the life you've always dreamed of? If I could bottle up that feeling and sell it, Lord know's I'd be a millionare. Anyway, that awesome feeling of pure happiness, contentment, and joy filled my heart today and that is exactly what
"it" is.
If I'm honest, before today I had been feeling more anxiety, worry, and "what if's" as the past few weeks have been filled with life changing news regarding my precious nephew Jude. Honestly, I wish I had half the strength and faith his Mommy and Daddy continue to show. I can't help but finding myself thinking about the fact that God works through willing people. Wade and Alissa are the definition of willing. They are exactly the type of people God would use to further His kingdom. I'm not sure they know the impact they've had on me in the past weeks.
I'm learning not to take one day, one hour, or one second of this life forgranted. I'm reminding myself to take a step back, look at the big picture, pinch myself when I realize all the blessings God's given me, and take it all in baby.
Thank-you Wade, Alissa, and baby Jude for showing me the real beauty in life.
The three of you are the reason "it" hit me tonight. For that I'm so grateful.