it's hard for me to admit that lately i haven't felt much like writing.
{call it the normal wax and wane of everyday life.}
i can't exactly pin point what "it" is
maybe it's partially remembering this time of my life last year and how i was literally fighting like hell everyday to feel anything. while life itself was very much in full bloom last year at this time my insides felt as empty as the tomb on easter sunday. i really try to not give ppd any more time that it already stole from me. while it taught me many important life lessons and God used it to better me as a person, i am so over living in fear that it will return. fear is only a feeling and i refuse to let it define who i am. the amazing lesson i learned is that my God is limitless. He is bigger than any problem or issue i will ever face and He is capable to do anything.
lately i sense a spiritual 'spring cleaning' going on in my heart. God is leading me in new directions and i am finally learning what it feels like to live a life of trusting Him completely. it's scary because this mamma likes control but the important thing is i'm learning to let go and let God. whether with relationships, possible future career changes, family planning, circumstances, hopes or dreams it feels so good to just let go and storm heaven's gates pursuing God's direction for my life.
therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. for the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. consider him who endured such oppositions from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
hebrews 12:1-3
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