Tasty Thursday

So I've made lots of scotcharoos lately.

I don't mean to toot my own horn,

BUT

I've been told they were delicious...by more than one person.

Like they were so good my brother-in-law ate one after every meal on vacation, and the whole pan only lasted 1 1/2 days on my other family vacation, and I brought some to work the other day and they were gone demolished by 11:00 am.

Toot! Toot! (So what I'm a little proud of myself!)

Scotcharoo Secret recipe (Thanks Mom!)

1 cup light karo syrup
1 cup sugar
1 cup peanut butter
6 cups Corn Flakes
1 cup NESTLE brand butterscotch chips (secret's out!)
1 cup SEMI SWEET chocolate chips (other secret's out!)

Mix Karo syrup and sugar in pot, bring to boil. Remove from heat quickly (if you don't you will have really HARD bars) Stir in peanut butter. Pour mixture over 6 cups of corn flakes (don't worry about stirring gently, it's okay if they break). Press into greased 9x13 pan.

*Tip: get your hands wet with cold water before pressing them down, it helps alleviate the bars from stiking to your hands.

Melt butterscotch and chocolate chips in microwave and spread on top.

Enjoy :)

Cutting Edge

Since you were born with hair like this....

I suppose I shouldn't be so suprised we did this

At only 5 months old.

Yesterday you got your first haircut. (After doing some convincing with your Daddy)

You sat on Mamma's lap and were so brave. (Okay I realize at 5 months old you had no idea what to be scared of) But still, I'm proud you were so brave! You actually laughed during most of it, no tears for this tough guy!

Mamma's heart skiped a beat when that long whispy piece in the back was cut off...

But oh, look how stinking adorable you are with your first little man haircut.

(Daddy admitted afterwards "he was glad you got your hair cut and thinks you look even more adorable" ) I told ya so!!!

Thanks for giving me my first haircut Auntie Alissa!

Book Worm

I have found myself on a little bit of a book kick lately. I know what you are thinking...how do you have time to read? The answer, Gavin = best.napper.ever. Thanks for being such a stud buddy, your Momma loves you so much. And besides I just got back from summer vacation #2 so I've had all the time in the world to read :) More on our summer vacations at a later post.

#1. Heaven is for real by Todd Burpo (image curtesy of google images). I literally couldn't put this book down once I started. It is a true story about a little boys story of his trip to heaven and back. Worth taking making the time to read it!

#2. The Help by Kathryn Stockett (image curtesy of google images) I am about half way through this book, I literally snagged it from my sister on vacation and haven't been able to put it down since. Thanks for sharing big sis :)

Challenge

Rewind 4 months ago:

My postpartum depression was at an all time high and I had been talked into going out to eat at Casey's Bakery in town. If I remember correctly it was chilli bash night. I had managed to get through the line (and masses of people because lets be honest, chilli bash is a big freaken deal around here) while juggling a diaper bag, purse and infant carrier. I was going to try to set my trey down to fill up my pop and was having absolutely no luck as there was no room to set it down. Frustrated, I started to walk away to try to find a table to set all my stuff down so I could come back and fill my drink. As I started to walk away a man by the pop machine noticed I was having a hard time balancing everything and said "Maam can I help you and hold you trey while you fill your drink?" I was caught quite off guard that this stranger would not only notice I was struggling, but offer and be so willing to help.

You're probably wondering what my point is...

My point is this; think how different this world we live in would be if we all acted more Christ-like and were willing to help someone without expecting something in return. Even if each person only did one thing, think how many people would be reached. The above story may seem really minute and frivilous to some, but I haven't forgotten the way it felt to be on the receiving end of this. My prayer is that I will be on the giving end as well.

My challenge to you is this: do something nice for someone today without expecting anything in return, you will be a Christ-like witness to them through your actions.

Top 5 Favorite Things

Baby Edition

#1. Dr. Brown's Bottles. Reduces colic/spit up. Consider this Mamma happy with the results.

#2. My skip hop diaper bag. Worth it's weight in gold. Only down side is that the straps aren't long enough to go around the stroller but I found a solution for this. Petunia Pickle Bottom vallet stroller straps :)

(photo courtesy of google images)

#3. Paul Mitchell Baby Don't Cry Shampoo. Keeps his precious locks clean, smooth, and smelling oh-so-good!

(photo curtosy of google images)

#4. Sneak-A-Peek-A-Boo. Our bedtime routine goes something like this, pajamas, night bottle, tucked in crib, then the famous book we've been reading to Gavin since he was only days old. He loves it, and giggles at a lot of the pictures, and heck he sleeps from 9pm to 7am most nights so I'm gonna keep reading!

(photo courtersy of google images)

#5. Taggie Blankies. An essential part of nap time in the Kroeze household. Especially perfect when the temps are in the 100's + and lugging around a big blankie is out of the question.

*Other Mamma's out there - what are some of your favorite things??? Leave a comment!

Matters of the Heart

"Because of the Lord's great love, we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness"

Lamentations 3:22-23

It has been 5 months since I've blogged. My entire life has changed in those 5 months and today I am in a beautiful place in my life. I'm a Mom to a very precious baby boy.

Along with major change in my life has come struggle. I've fought writing this entry as it would be easier not to share, but God continues to lay it on my heart that I need to share.

Obey first, understand later.

So today I am going to obey and share. Share the joys of new life along with the sharing the hardest thing I have ever endured...postpartum depression.

I have never felt more beautiful or filled with joy than when I was pregnant with Gavin. Life.Was.Beautiful. Brady and I were scheduled to have our second session of maternity pictures taken Saturday March 5. I had just been taken off bedrest a few days before. God had different plans as I woke up that morning and was getting ready for the day and my water broke. Minutes later contractions began to pick up and we were headed off to the hospital to have our baby boy.

My labor and delivery experience was about as "textbook" as they come. After a short 7 hours of labor and a very short 12 minutes of pushing (yes ladies be jealous!), we welcomed this sweet guy into our lives at 4:42pm.

Gavin Andrew Kroeze

7lb 9oz. 21 in.

Perfect.

And look at all that hair, I would say the 9 months of heartburn was WELL worth it :)

5 hours after delivery I had some complications with loosing too much blood and passing out. I was pumped full of fluids, medications, and got 2 units to replace what I lost. That first night was rough as I wasn't allowed to get out of bed and felt very weak.

We had a relatively normal postpartum stay other than Gavin developing some jaundice and having to be under the bili lights. When we were discharged home he used a bili "blanket" aka a hard wooden paddle with a short tube and noisy machine hooked up to it.

The first overwhelming feeling came during our second night in the hospital. It was 2 am and the nurse wheeled in a screaming and hungry little Gavin and I attempted to soothe and feed him and had no luck. I can remember thinking to myself, I have taught new Mom's how to breastfeed, why am I struggling with it so much?

I spiraled down into a very deep, debilitating depression when Gavin was 1 week old. Before this I had experienced a bad day on occassion but nothing compared to the acute depression I felt at that time. I felt overwhelmed, inadequate, and undeserving of a healthy baby. I had no desire to do anything and cried almost constantly at times. The depression clouded every aspect of my life and I couldn't escape from it. At times I didn't know how I would make it through. I read and re-read scripture passages trying to make sense of the hell I was experiencing. I cried out to God to take this awful feeling away. I thought this is supposed to be the happiest time in a person's life, why am I crying more than my baby?

During the hardest days of my entire life I was carried. Carried by my husband who really meant it when he vowed to me 3 years before that he would be there "through good times and bad, in sickness and in health" He saw me at my complete and utter worst and loved me more because of it. I have tears in my eyes just typing those words. I can never fully explain how encouraging, understanding, and loving he was toward me when it would have been a lot easier not to be. I can remember watching him with Gavin, he was such a natural, you could see the bond they had immediately.

Carried by my Dad who had personally dealt with depression years ago and understood how best to help.

Carried by my sister who was also transitioning to being a "new Mom" and was always willing to drop everything and come sit and talk with me.

Carried by my own Mom who taught me what it means to be a great Mom and who stepped up to the plate to help care for Gavin when I wasn't feeling 100%.

Carried by my sister and brother in law who showed me by example what it means to live out faith and trust God always, even when we don't understand.

Carried by my mother and father in law who prayed without ceasing.

Carried by my beautiful baby boy Gavin who gave me reason to wake up each morning.
Carried by my best friend who is thousands of miles away but kept close through phone calls and emails offering me support.

Carried by co-workers who had also experienced post partum depression and promised me "it will get better, I am here for you always"

Carried by friends, and fellow church members who sent cards, dropped off food, and were always willing to talk.

Above all I was carried by God. I can remember thinking so many times "I don't want to go through post partum depression God, I don't want to be one of those people" Turns out we can't choose what struggles we go through in life but we can choose how we respond to them. I choose to share my story and trust that by sharing God will work through me.

Turns out God doesn't want us to "go it alone" Lesson learned. I have never been shown such love by people and could type until my fingers fell off giving specific examples.

God has answered my prayers and today I'm in a much better place and am LOVING being a Mommy. I see life with a new set of eyes and have learned what it means to live out my faith and trust God always.

Bliss & A Beautiful Baby Boy

Rewind back to July 2010.

My sister and her husband are in the process of moving. She calls and said she needed our help to move some boxes from their upstairs to their downstairs. I had my suspicions and gut-instinct that we weren't really going to be moving anything and I remember saying to Brady, I just know they're going to tell us they're pregnant. Maybe it was my Mommy instinct already kicking in since we too were pregnant but hadn't told anyone yet. We went over to "move boxes" but instead were asked to help pick out paint colors for the "office".

Here were the two paint color choices:

Cue the happy tears, laughter, hugs, and "I knew it!" Talk about a hard time to keep a secret that we were also expecting and were only 4 weeks behind them.

Fast Forward to February 23, 2011.

Meet Mr. Carter Severt. 9 lb 3 oz. 22 inches long. Perfect.

Carter, you've scored big time with the Mommy & Daddy God's given you. Your Mommy is not only my sister but one of my best friends. She is so in love with you and has been for the past 9+ months. Your Daddy is quite the guy too, I'm sure there isn't anything he wouldn't do for you his little bud. Your Mommy and I have been blessed to share our pregnancies being due only 4 weeks apart. We compared every little kick, hiccup, movement, and stretch mark and dreamed often of how much you two will mean to eachother. I know you already sort of "met" your cousin last night when I was holding you on my belly and he wouldn't stop kicking you...you stuck out your pouty lip and pulled quite the sad face. Don't worry little guy, your cousin just wanted to say hello (or maybe he was feeling a little "squished")

I love that I get to be your aunt. I'm so excited to see you and our little guy grow up together and be buds. Being an aunt is the best thing in the entire world. I can't wait for sleepovers, campfires, family vacations, and just plain loving on you.

Your uncle Brady couldn't get over how cute you are. He just kept saying it over and over last night. I think the look on his face however says it best; he couldn't be more proud to be your uncle. Hope you like golfing 'cuz he's gonna take you golfing.

Grandpa and Grandma have never looked happier. They've waited to meet you for what feels like "forever". Grandpa already has plans to take you on 4-wheeler rides (when you're bigger of course) and do all sorts of outdoorsy man things with you. Grandma already has plans to rock you for hours on end, read stories to you, and plain spoil-you-rotten.

You are an answer to prayer little one, a gift from God above. Welcome to our family Carter, we couldn't be more in love.