little white hawk

how fitting that we named you gavin.

it means "white hawk"

and what a little hawk you are buddy. at first i wasn't sure the meaning fit but now i'm certain it does.

i love to contemplate baby names and i think i almost drove the mr to insanity with my inability to make a decision when it came to naming gavin. after all, we called him parker the first 8 months in utero because that was what we were going to name him. we literally went back and forth between parker, gavin, and brooks to the last minute.

let me paint you a little picture for the sake of clarifying what is meant by last  minute.

t- (20 minutes post water-breaking-at-home-contractions-are-hurting-like-hell-now as i'm trying to get out of the bathtub because i was bound and determined i was going to take a bath prior to presenting to the labor and delivery unit) 

"what are we going to name him? we need to decide now. wwhhyy did weee (i'm whisper yelling now) waaiitt untill the laaaast minuuute? we would even be indecisive with our own childs name.

b - (looking a little flushed and frantic) "are you going to deliver right now in our bathtub? you're going to be okay right? why do you care if your legs are shaved right now. we are going to make it to the hospital right?"

t - "i would be so much better if these contractions would just stop coming. i feel fine when they are not there."

b - "but then you wouldn't be in labor, right? i mean labor is contractions right?" (uh thank you captain obvious, you're about to witness first hand what exactly labor is, lord help us all)

t - "the bag. i was going to pack my hospital bag today, i didn't want to pack it too early because i felt like it would curse my chances of having this baby early. i'm only 37 weeks 3 days. (hot tears are streaming down my makeup free complexion now)this is so not how i pictured all of this going down."

b - "gavin andrew. we're naming him gavin andrew kroeze. it was the first name we both fell in love with and i want to do andrew after my middle name."

t - "gavin andrew it is. i love it. happy almost birthday sweet boy. let's rock and roll."

{and for the record the mr was an awesome support during labor and delivery. he exceeded my expectations and i will never forget the look on his face while he met his brand new son as mouthed the words "he's perfect, he's beautiful" to me with tears in his eyes} 

the rest is history as they say although i think we call him gav more often than gavin.

or snoop gavy gav

or gavin the goat

or bebe gav

anyway back to "white hawk". it's perfect really, he is my little observer. even when he was a wee little baby he would just stare at things, taking it all in. he still does this with people he doesn't know, just stares at them "like a hawk". and for humors sake he watches the door and cupboards like a hawk now too. so much for quick sneaking outside, or quick sneeking my 10th cookie of the day. wait, what? he notices it all. the doors and cupboards could just as well have a voice alarm system hooked up that states (in a low, deep, slow dennis haysbert state farm insurance voice) "gavin, your mother is now eating her 10th cookie of the day, if you speed crawl over there you may get a bite" or "gavin, your mother is now going to try to quickly sneek outside to get the mail, oh wait you are on her like white on rice so you already knew that"

i believe God is very provisional like that. he knew long before brady and i were parents that we would have a sweet baby boy and name him gavin. he knew and loved gavin long before we ever did. i love to just bask in that truth and contemplate how anyone could love him more than i do and then i realize His creator definately does. thank you sweet Jesus for my precious little white hawk. i promise to do my best with your help to give him roots to grow and one day wings to fly.