{Pause}

I've been asked before why I write. My little corner of this blog world was visitied over eight-hundred times in the last month. I certainly don't know 800 people which means some of you are coming back a second, third, dare I say forth time? Over eight-hundred in one month. That is crazy to me.

I write for reasons far deeper than numbers and ratings but if you are still reading consider this a genuine thank-you! I hope you've been insprired, humored, or felt like you-have-it-all-together-more-than-she-does after reading my ramblings.

{grin}

I write to capture this life I've been blessed with. A life that is far from perfect, but is my life none-the-less, a life I'm proud of and grateful for. I will write the good right along with the hard material in hopes to reach out and inspire and affect people, you know, make a difference. I write because each day is a gift and not a given right (thanks Nickelback for those profoud lyrics, BTW your music rocks)

I believe we, as Mommies have some very priveledged roles and one of them is to be the memory keeper, whatever that means to all you Mommies out there. For some of you that's scrap-booking, taking oodles of pictures of your precious babes, others it's staying home full time, others it's just spending every waking moment you have with your littles, especially if you need to work outside the home. For me it is to do this thing that is so incredibly therapeutic and sit here and peck away on these black keys to my hearts content.

I hope some day when Gavin is much older he will look back at all of this and get a glimpse into what his life was exactly like when he was too young to remember. I hope he will read how loved he was and feel very proud. I hope he will understand and not think less of me as his Mom when he learns that after the joy of his birth I walked my darkest road through post-partum- depression and fought like hell, for him. I hope he knows he was worth every single tear through that struggle and I would do it all over again just for him. I hope he knows Brady and I are committed to raising him right to know the Lord and so are all the other people in his life. It takes a village to raise a baby you know.

I love that my husband gets giddy when he hears me typing like a mad women in my "spare" time (what exactly is spare time when you have a baby and full time job?!) and says "are you blogging" with this kid-in-candy-store-giddiness in his voice. For the record I make time to blog because it is important to me. For the record I always let the Mr read my entries before hitting that orange "publish post" button, especially if it is portraying the more difficult things life sometimes entails. He is such a sport and has yet to tell me "no". Thanks babe for making me feel proud of journaling our life.

On another note, Gavin turns 7 months old this week. PAUSE please? For some odd reason this whole 7-month thing has got me in sort of a tail spin because as I said to Brady earlier this week - that means he is closer to one than zero. I know. I know. Embrace it. Embrace that he is growing and developing normally and is healthy. I know that in my head, but my heart is looking for that pause button that doesn't exactly exist.

I don't want to forget this 6 month stage that has been the best. He sits now, by himself, you know. He cries for me if I'm not there when he wakes up from his nap. His hair somewhat resembles Conan O'Brien lately - time for his 2nd haircut? Ridiculous.

I don't want to forget the way he opens his mouth and bangs his hands on the tray of his high-chair when it's baby food time. I don't want to forget how Brady can get him to giggle with peek-a-boo . I don't want to forget the low pitched noise he makes while sticking his tongue out sounding like a tractor motor. I don't want to forget how no matter how hard he's crying, he stops as long as I sing him "our song". I don't want to forget how those baby blues light up every morning when he's awake and I turn the light on and say "Good Morning Big Boy" I don't want to forget that gaze we have when it's feeding time, the gaze that pierces straight though to my soul. I don't want to forget how he reaches to touch my face and also reaches to be picked up.

It's just I've never felt a love this deep. If you're a Mom, you understand.

And I won't forget it, but I will look back and miss these "easy" days. But for now, onward we go to the big-boy 7 month stage. I will try to embrace this next stage that seems to include mobility. Time to seriously baby-proof.

Love

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another, without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in it's various forms. 1 Peter 4:8-10

Memory Lane

In this beautiful world called photography we learn that photos can be more powerful than the most eloquent words. When taken just so, photos simply "catch" what words cannot describe.

Don't believe me?

Look below.

Thank-you Auntie "Yo-Ya" (as we call her) for the overdue date to Pumpkinland complete with pictures that make me beam with pride about my beautiful little boy.

Thankful Tuesday

Nothing quite like watching the game on a crisp fall evening with my 2 favorite boys decked out in their Patriots gear :) Maybe it's time Mom gets a jersey?!

Eco-Mom

Lately I've been feeling a little green. Not sick green. Green like earth-friendly-tree-hugger-money-saver-green.

Exhibit A. Home-made baby wipes.

Mix 3 cups water, 1 tablespoon baby wash, 1 tablespoon baby oil. Tear apart Bounty paper towels (select a size work best) and fold them. Here's where the Mr. took it up a notch and went all Eco-perfection on me folding them so that when you pull one out the next will automatically pop up.

Show-off.

{grin}

Soak the folded paper towels in the solution and squeeze excess fluid off. Then place in empty baby wipe container and they are ready to use.

(I filled 3 containers with one roll of paper towels. I'm no math expert but I'm pretty sure that saved some hard-earned moola)

Exhibit B - homemade baby food. The "6 month little" (21 lb 6 oz, 28 1/2 in long little) aced his well baby check up today. He protested when it was time for 3 shots, but do you blame him? Ouch, ouch & ouch! Don't worry we settled the protest with a 6oz bottle and a 3 1/2 hour nap {score} Our Dr. said he was the "picture of health" and for that I am thankful to God.

He's literally mastered the whole baby food thing already and opens his mouth like a little baby bird and whines if I don't get the food there fast enough. What.A.Ham. Anyways - baby food is sorta spendy and can be kept on the grocery store shelf for 12 months.

Yummy preservatives.

Ick.

Solution - I now make my own baby food. I'm borrowing a book from a friend called So Easy baby food by Joan Ahlers & Cheryl Tallman. It's as easy as buying the steam package peas at Hy-Vee, steaming them in microwave, adding some water, dumping in blender, and pressing "puree". Freeze 8-10 hrs then pop the cubes out into baggies and use as needed. Fresh, Healthy, and no preservatives. 2 bags of peas filled 2 ice cube trays full to the brim. Did I mention it's much more cost effective too?

I also made homemade baby food apples. Wash, peel, core/cut 4 apples. Cover with plastic wrap and cook in microwave for 5 minutes, the let stand for 5 minutes. Dump in blender and press "puree". 4 apples filled 1 ice cube tray. My kitchen now smells like Martha-Stewart :)

Exhibit C. Cloth diapers. Okay, I lied. I haven't gone that far. But I must admit the thought keeps crossing my mind...

Better hurry and get out of here before you too catch this nasty "green" bug.

Hello Friday

I'm borrowing this idea from a friend.

Hello pumpkin-land. Looking forward to visiting you real soon. I'm sure you won't dissapoint.

Hello newly sheet-rocked garage. Looking forward to not freezing my a*$ off this winter.

Hello September 9. The day that brought my best friend back to Iowa.

Hello forecast. I must say digits in the doubles are much more flattering on you.

Hello Canon Rebel I've been lusting after for far too long. Will I be seeing you underneath my Christmas tree this year? I've been a very good girl.

(photo curtesy of google images)

Hello Thirty-One. Consider me "in love"

Hello house peppered with baby things. I love the eclectic look you bring to my world.

Hello Happy Fall Weekend Everyone.

Sick Days

Sometimes in the world of blogging, we (aka all you fellow bloggers/readers) have a tendency to portray only the good things of our life. The things we are proud of. The things that are "bloggable" for lack of a better world :) In doing this, we miss reality and we miss opportunities of reaching people by portraying the good along with the not-so-pretty.

Deep, huh? Hardly.

Warning - I'm stepping on to my soap box {Grin}

I do not have it all together at all times. In fact I rarely have anything together ever. Case in point - Gavin was really sick this weekend, like completely and utterly inconsolable, fever of 102, crying so hard he was choking, and oh that sad look in his eyes - pierced right through to my soul and made me cry too. You're probably thinking - good thing you are a registered nurse, I'm sure you knew just what to do. My husband thought the exact same thing as we were discussing (hee-hawing) about whether or not to bring Gavin to the ER or wait-and-see when my husband said "well you're the nurse" Wrong answer Honey! Wrong.Answer. And besides I'm not really a wait-and-see-kinda-girl. My husband got the short end of the stick and I yelled at him, loudly, and it went something like this - "I'm his MOM in this situation, not his nurse, and I have already tried everything I advise other people to do in the same situation everyday and nothing is working, blah blah blah, just because you're a CPA and not a nurse you don't have to help decide what to do, blah blah blah??!!

Really pretty and ladylike to yell don't you think? Pretty classy, huh? Ugh. Embarrissing is more like it.

I had this Mommy instinct something was definitely going on with Gavin, and wouldn't you figure he got sick over the long weekend - clinic closed. One of the best parts of working in a clinic (no weekends/holidays) Suddenly this wasn't such a good thing. Anyways.

We waited it out a couple days before I had officially had enough and couldn't ignore that instinct any longer. So I made the executive decision (since I'm the nurse, remember?!) and we headed to the ER. Turns out he was sick; with a double ear infection. Ouch and ouch. Don't worry, little bug is doing much better now thanks to amoxicillin, tylenol, and lots of snuggling.

Moral of the story - I should have been thankful to have a loving husband who cares about me and our sick child. Thankful for a husband who is more than willing to help. Thankful for a husband who values my input regarding our child, nurse or not. The Mr. got up with the little more throughout those sleepless nights than I did when he was sick and crying. Thanks babe, you are the best (even though I did yell at you and say otherwise) So, learn from my not-so-pretty-yelling-frustration-and next time you're in the yelling boat, take a deep breath, count to 10, and be happy you have a loving spouse there to help you, even if he did say the wrong answer :-)

And...

always trust your Mommy instinct. ALWAYS.

I'm now stepping off my soap box. What's that? You're relieved. Very funny. {Grin}