Thursday, December 22, 2011

letter to my son

Dear Gavin,

As I sit here writing this you are fast asleep on your side cuddling with ponds; your stuffed frog. I'm not sure there's anything greater than tip toeing in your room while you are sleeping. The night light causes your soft skin to glisten and I could just watch you for hours. I often find myself putting my hand on you and praying. Praying that God is with you while you sleep. Praying that I am the Mom to you that God wants me to be. Praying with happy tears that God choose me to be your Mom. Praying that you will grow up to know and love God. I'm not sure I knew a love this deep until God gave me you. You are such a joy to me.


I love your shy & silly personality. It is in so many ways just like your Daddy {I love him too you know} Want to know a secret? I like love that you don't just give out your smiles to strangers... it means more when you so willingly give them to me. It lets me know that you love and trust me. Your dimples melt straight through to my soul each and every time. That giggle of yours is quite hilarious too, we've been calling you 'Gavin The Goat' for quite some time. I love that, just like your Daddy, once you warm up you are the life of the party, causing everyone to smile and laugh. You are really blessed to have the Daddy you do. He loves you so, so much.


I guess we technically already had our first Christmas together. You probably don't remember but you were warm, cozy and growing like crazy in my belly. Mommy enjoyed lots of extra treats last year because she could blame it on 'baby weight' (Don't worry, Grandma seems to love to feed you just about anything she can get her hands on so don't plan on being let down this year)

To me, one of the best things about being your Mom is that I get to create memories for you. Memories that will stick with you for a lifetime, and trust me, your Mamma knows how to have a good time. You are so impressionable and I promise myself and God every day that I will shower you with love. I will really be there for you, make time for you. There really is nothing I wouldn't do for you Gavin. You have changed my life completely, and some days I'm not convinced I actually "lived" before having you. Seeing life through your bright baby blues has caused me to question so much, to really explore my beliefs and what is important to me and what I will make important for you.


In 3 short days we will enjoy our first Christmas together. Daddy, Mommy, Gavin and Maya. I can't wait to see your child like wonder when you open your gifts. I have big plans for our future buddy boy. Plans to decorate cut out cookies, plans to eat cut out cookies, plans to listen to loud Christmas music (because all good music should be played loud) plans to make snow angels, plans to stay in our Christmas pj's all day if we wish. Oh and one small thing, both your Grandma's made your Daddy and I wait until all the dishes were clean before we could open presents when we were little. I promise to you that for one day I will put away my OCD tendencies and leave the mess so we can get to the fun part and make a bigger mess. Promise! I also promise I will teach you what the true gift of Christmas is - the gift that God sent His one and only Son because He loved us so much.


Sweet dreams my precious baby boy.


I love you to the moon and back


Love,

Mommy

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