survival of the fittest

my heart is still beating.
my lungs are exchanging oxygen.
despite no facebook, blogs, and very limited internet sites for the past 30 days...

i'm still alive.

okay the above is completely and utterly sarcastic but don't we sometimes live like we would DIE without our cell phone, favorite TV shows, internet, facebook, the list goes on.

i have to be honest and let everyone know i did cheat once or twice and the websites that got me were crazy8.com and youtube.com. because brother needed some new spring clothes and this mamma had a 25% off coupon that expired. and i have a small (read: massive) obsession with music. (pitbull/chris brown international love anyone?!) please forgive me.

i am proud to say i did NOT cheat with facebook or any blogs, ever. that was what i needed a fast from most and i did it.

hail yes i did it. and it was so worth it.

next on my leap list? training for a marathon 5K.
lawd have mercy.

{Day 19}

of media fast.

I don't miss facebook, at all. I texted Laura the day and informed her I'm quite certain I'm going to d/c it completely after this media fast is over.

The flip side of that coin is that my heart is aching to catch up on all the blogs I do follow. I did not realize just how much support/insight/relatability I find in those other women's entries. While I do not know all of the women personally I feel like I do "know" them because of the beautiful and real way they share themselves via writing. The blog world is awesome like that.

Strange, but awesome.

Sometimes in life communcation is difficult for me. The thoughts/ideas that are in my head don't exactly come out of my mouth as I wish they would. But oh when I sit down and write, clarity shines through. Writing provides such therapy to my soul. Often times after I'm done writing I'm suprised at what I learned by just letting my heart speak. It allows me to share some of the deepest parts of my soul. It still amazes me that anyone takes the time to read what I have to write on my little corner of this blog world, but if you do thankyou from the bottom of my heart. It is very generous of you to take time to stop here.

Now I have a request for you. Will your take the time and leave me a comment to let me know what keeps you coming back here to read? Encouragement? Humor? Don't be shy...you can be honest, my feelings aren't easily hurt and if you come here daily to remind yourself you have things together way more than me I'm fine with that :)

Now go ahead and click on that little comment button and leave me your two cents.

tempting

But no thankyou. BTW who are the knuckleheads who are sending me messages and friend requests...i'm on a fast here people. And that 332 photo tags better be a mistake. The Mr asked me last nite

"Do you want me to log into your facebook and check it and tell you?"

Thanks for the offer babe, but no. That would be no different than me signing in myself...and that's against the media fast rules.

endure

dear beginning days of media fast,

you have reminded me of the first 1/2 mile of a run. you have been slow, painful, agonizing, and thought provoking. i will endure you because i know that after your hell comes the glorious runner's high. i don't doubt that God has something pretty good up His sleeve here. i will remain strong putting one tired foot in front of the other figthing off temptation while learning valuable lessons.

*for the record - facebook emailed me today informing me i have one message and 13 notifications pending.

pish, posh facebook... you no longer own me. in fact i don't really even care about you anymore. we are so breaking up for good.

{this is so liberating}

on seven

{possibly the worst idea ever}

laura - "want to know what just came out of my mouth to my husband...this is the last time i'm ever going to do something good. not even kidding i got real pissed"

me - "we are so dumb for doing this. i was trying to have a nice meal with my husband and ordered a strawberry dauquiri which tasted like straight rum and my 11 month old threw a holy tantrum and there was a TV in the background i had to awkwardly ignore"

laura - "ha ha, i love you. please don't work tomorrow and come save me from myself. p.s. i'm just as bad as your 11 month old,i just threw a huge tantrum. so sorry for pulling you into this...worst idea ever"

tina - "i love you plain and simple"

laura - "we can do this!"

i share the above for the sake of being real and honest. because in life it is so important to be real and honest. and to those of you who think the above conversation is ridiculous - deprive yourself of something you love and enjoy for 5 days and then we will talk. {that may have come out sounding bitchier than i intended}

go on now. enjoy your life with no intranet/media boundaries because in 25 days i will be.

but hey, who's counting?

changing lanes

{day 2 of social media fast, this is harder than it seems}

i want to check my facebook, plain and simple. pathetic, and true. while we're at it i also want to check pinterest, and jami nato's blog, and kelle hamton's blog, and every other blog i follow (which is too many to list)

i'm realizing just how deeply this social networking infused my life. i'm ashamed to realize the amount of precious time wasted on seeing what the rest of the 'world' was up to.

"life is short" a saying we hear all too often. these words regained their potency as i lost a dear classmate this week to a skiing accident.

she was 24.

she died very unexpectedly.

life is short.

i wish i felt the same urgency to check in with God as I do to check my facebook. do you find yourself feeling the same way? while facebook itself is not evil, it can rob people of their time, and self worth. i was flirting with addiction, and at what cost?

what if i utilized that time checking in with the God who created and loved me? what if that time was spent in prayer and devotion? what if that time was spent thinking about others? what if that time was all spent looking in awe at the precious baby boy who graced my life 11 months ago or spent with the husband God blessed me with 3 1/2 years ago?

while media fast is proving to be more than i bargained for, i have this crazy suspicion that on day 30 i'm going to say "that was so worth it".

a fast

{from media}

it's 8:23 monday morning. gavin and i just finished eating delicious buttermilk pancakes. i set him down to play and started doing dishes/cleaning up the kitchen. i noticed when i took him out of his high chair he had some unidentifiable particle of "food" stuck to the butt of his pants. this led me to feel inclined to "deep clean" his high chair. one wouldn't think it could possibly be that filthy already considering he's only been on table foods for the past few months and i do wipe it down occasionally. i will spare you the gnarly details of what was found underneath the lining.

you know how after you're done doing dishes by hand (if anyone does that anymore) and there is that gushy "stuff" left in the drain...if you've ever touched that, this was a similar experience.

and i said i was going to spare you the gnarly details.

got me to thinking about the 'filth' that so quickly accumulates in my own life. i can try to 'wipe things down' occasionaly by praying, reading scripture, conferring with other christians, etc. but sometimes in life we all need a deep clean.

this month will be a deep clean from media for myself and my dear friend laura. we both found ourselves in a 'rut' of sorts of feeling over indulged, unappreciative, uncontent, etc. if you want the whole story of how this all began and the details of the rules, check out her blog.

the basic low down for our media fast is this
- no facebook for an entire month... 30 whole days people
-limiting media time to a total of 7 hrs a week
-we are able to check email because we would both probably loose our job if we didn't
-the only websites we are allowed to access are email and each others blog (because lets be honest we need support)
-we can blog (PTL)
-no texting for fun, we're going to do it the old fashioned way and actually call people

my prayer is that this fast recharges not only my relationship with God, but my relationship with others as well. kind of like when you stop doing what is completely wasting your time and make room for the important things in life. i value face to face time with people and with how accessible social networking has become i'm embarrased to admit that i've let face to face time slide down on my list of priorities, i've even caught myself screening calls on occasion and instead of calling people back, texting them.

there's my confession for the day. ugh.

so, here's a whole month dedicated to changing that. if anyone feels so inclined to join, please do.

now if you'll excuse me i need to get off the computer now, it's already been 30 minutes

(just like that and i'm already down to 6.5 hrs of media left for the week)